Judgmental

“Optimism”

-English

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Songs of the moment:

Love-Musiq Soulchild

Losing my religion-REM

Master Blaster-Dj Luck & Mc Neat

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i have come to realize that i used to be really judgmental..i think we all are..but perhaps me more..used to tho..i admit and many has concur that im alsot a fault finder..i look, then observe someone, something, an idea, an itinerary of an event, a photograph, outfit and ill point out to you as much as i can what is wrong, off, flaw, fault, anything short of my perception of perfection..its sucks i know..that part hasnt change but now that im conscious about it, it helps to not a self righteous jack ass (altho i do miss being mean, critical and bitchy)..alot has changed for me in the past 12 or so months..in character, mentality, behaviour and approach..having said that, come to think of it again, i used to be super judgmental..

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its difficult to not be judgmental tho..we see a motorbike, and we think no good, annoying, rempit..we see a car driving fast, and we think dangerous, negligent, inconsiderate..we see young kids smoking, we think what? we see ppl littering, we think what? what are the first few words that come across your mind, briefly or temporarily or permanently when such things happen..and could we say voicing it out reflects how strong or how judgmental we are as oppose to keeping it to ourselves? everyone is familiar with the ‘benefit of doubt’, the ‘two sides of the leaf’, but how conscious or subconscious are we in practicing it..what more when it comes to ‘us’ and ‘them’..generalization is fair but can be very prejudice at the same time..ppl say americans are ignorant, esp in geography..the are 200 million plus of them..and if so, what about malaysians? ppl say the malays are lazy and complacent, and other minority races in malaysia are not..is that really the case? could it be due to being a former colony? being the majority in their own land? “Natans” or “Natankarans” (haha)..

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part of the way i look at ppl being judgmental now, is that i think and behave the way i do because of what ive been exposed to (experience, parenting, school, environment)..and i wouldnt be the way i am now if it wasnt for any of that..so how can i,we, expect others to be as ‘good’ as agreeable to our opinions or the way we are, if they too have not been exposed to those that we have been exposed of..and to achieve that, we can admit that it is truly impossible..different ppl, culture, country, race, religion, sex, do things not the way we do because..we’re different..at times yes, they may be ‘bad’, ‘weird’, ‘bitchy’, ‘anarchy’, ‘rebellious’,'ignorant’, ‘stuckup’,'holier than thou’,'crude’, ‘wrong’,..think about all the friends and relatives we have around us..those u got to know through time..if we had been strongly judgmental and decided upon the distance of the relationship almost immediately, would the two of you be where you are to each other today? think of especailly the ppl close to you noow..so if they received that benefit of doubt from you, either by accident of time or by proximity confinement, why not other members of the public..and im not just talking about your community, im not just talking about malaysians..im talking about anyone and everyone, literally..be it a friend of a friend, or the shopkeeper whose shop you’ll probably never visit again, or a city you’ll never holiday in again..we’re all hasty in saying the negative stuff but abstain from compliments, no matter how subtle..so i say, begin with like you, he/she is just different..because what goes around comes around..

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if i continue, i dont know how long will this post be..but if there was a time, when the greatest minds of the world thought that the earth was flat, and thought that only homosexuals get AIDS..and we condemn them, what about us?

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ps. what prompt me to post this, is of course the change that i notice in me after reflecting how i was some time/years ago, and the ppl who i respect, or are close to me now and in the past and how greatly we differ..what i saw in them when we first met, the ‘faults’ i found, cease to exist..they helped, so names due mention.. glad i gave them that ‘time’, that ‘benefit of doubt’..when you come to know of change in you, and not make any attempt to ‘preach’ or ‘help’ or ‘share’ with others, thats just selfish..

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pps. its challenging/hard/awkward being kind init?