The former incident at christmas mansion

“To know Widad, is to know the world. ”

-WMB

For the moment:

Tracy-Mogwai

I was planning to only post this later on, but the latter incident post aroused the curiousity of others seeking me to continue the story. Before I proceed, I must make clear that,

1. I grew up knowing more than a handful of homosexuals, in and outside of the family. Thus, I suppose, that explains why I’m not homophobic.
2. Homophobia is not bigotry. They are two different things. Get it right.
3. Coming out for a homosexual is (still) an issue. Whether by perception or matter of fact, that illustrates how normal/usual/common/accepted it is. That means, it is something new and it is huge (for both sides). The same (usually) applies to war, unusual weather or brand new fashion trend.
4. Out of the many (many) definitions of phobia I checked, only one or two describes it as hatred, among other things. All of them agree that it is fear. Also avoidance, aversion and dislike. Thus, if it is reasonable to be phobic over heights, neon lights and the presence or contact with certain animals, why is it wrong to be phobic over the presence of a homosexual? If that is wrong, than any form of phobia, especially to any living being is also wrong.
5. Distinguish the difference between being phobic over presence, and phobic over being hit on. I personally, as you have read in the earlier post, have a problem with the latter. In fact, I’m not sure if it’s me or men in general, I can’t help feeling awkward even when a girl makes a similar pass at me. Looking at it in that spectrum, whether or not it is homophobic, I think it’s beyond. But in truth, I don’t care.

Finally, if it is fine in your opinion, and your (or another persons) right to be a homosexual, then it is absolutely fine for another to be homophobic. Assuming of course if that is your train of thought.

Because condemning or depriving the right, even in the most implied or subtle of way, of a person for being homophobic, the same you apply to you. And that goes beyond sexual orientation. Again, assuming of course if that is your train of thought.

Now the story…the former incident at christmas mansion…

Shortly after we all walked in the nightclub, my brother bump into his friend in one corner of the club where he had a spot having drinks with his girlfriend. My brother introduced me to him and his girlfriend. Friendly chap, lovely girl. We spoke for a bit and left.

About an hour later I went to the latrine and my brother’s friend stopped me to say hello again. He was standing in between me and his friend. He says to me,

Hey man, my friend here thinks you got cool hair.

Oh yea? Brilliant. Thanks.

He holds my arms a little firmer and I get the drift that he wants to get my attention proper. Seriously with a smile, he says,

And don’t get offended. Ok…

Don’t get offended.

My friend here also thinks you got a cute ass.

And then he pats my posterior. I’m hoping, as a gesture of comfort/consolation. Who the fck knows.

Before I leave he says I should come back to his spot with my brother later and have a drink with them, and repeats his offer seriously indicating that he meant it. That gesture, I appreciate.

Just as he finish reiterating his offer, and I walk away, he pats my posterior again. That gesture, I’m not sure I appreciate.

Going back, what concerned me was this,

• His friend didn’t stop him from saying what he said. In fact he kind of looked as if he was expecting the conveyance of words although not willingly.
• His friend did not make any serious denial. In fact, he just looked down, smiled not sheepishly, looking a little embarrassed and bothered, but as if it was not an entirely unusual thing,

In case if you’re that naive, yes. That friend was not a girl.

Which I suppose, as a heterosexual male, is even less comforting.